Transitions: Shifting: Who Am I?
In my life, transition always begins 1-2 years in advance. I'm realizing that transition happens in three phases. They are Shifting, Shaking, and Setting. In these phases, my spirit knows what is happening but I can't stop or catch my bearings in the midst. It's nerve wrecking really. I usually have to ask God, multiple times "now, could we not have done that any smoother.. GEEZ." I laugh about it now because I'm sure God's response is, "nope you would not have gotten to this point without that last phase, BS and all." The following words were written, January of 2019. I was fresh into God Shifting things, people, places, MONEY in my life. God knows this was a hard phase!! Now, almost a year and a half later the Shifting part of the transition is has slowed but the shaking is beginning. New City, New State, New Job, New Space, New revelation of calling. This Shaking will reveal me to ME, in the form of associations, alliances, opportunities, discipline, confidence, contentment, and letting go. We get "being made NEW" mixed up. As we live life, NEW never goes away because we are made new in Christ. However, we can lose the shine we once had. So as uncomfortable as they are Transitions are to make us BETTER. They knock the dust, dirt, and grit of life off of us, IF WE LET IT ((((((((((One more time for those in the BACK!!!!!)))))))))))
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For years, I have been on a journey to simply discover who I am. I have always been attached to some entity or something that my gifts and personality have made great. Yet, though those gifts and talents are apart of me, I have always felt like I am searching to find my sweet spot. The place where I inherently belong. The place that encompasses all of who I am and loves me anyway.
To me, I represent that cross section of womanhood that oftentimes looses her voice because she is the voice for so many. I am daughter, sister, aunt, friend, teacher, colleague, administrator, preacher. However, in these facets of myself, I have found that MYSELF is lost.
So as a successful, single, saved 35 year old woman, I am am on a journey to find the lost pieces of myself. What I am discovering is that in my haste to be of value to others, I may have given some pieces away, thrown away others, or heck even sold some to feel a sense of normalcy. Yet, I've come to discover that I have been holding my heart together with scotch tape. The problem with this, however, is that eventually scotch tape looses its hold and the pieces fall apart again. So obviously, scotch tape or fixes will not help. So I have to allow the pieces to heal and mend with time. No quick fixes, just time and listening to The Holy Spirit. I invite you to take this journey with me. We will laugh and cry. Sometimes, I wont "sound like a preacher" but in the end, God wants my authenticity not my sound or presentation shown to others. God want ME flaws and all.....
To me, I represent that cross section of womanhood that oftentimes looses her voice because she is the voice for so many. I am daughter, sister, aunt, friend, teacher, colleague, administrator, preacher. However, in these facets of myself, I have found that MYSELF is lost.
So as a successful, single, saved 35 year old woman, I am am on a journey to find the lost pieces of myself. What I am discovering is that in my haste to be of value to others, I may have given some pieces away, thrown away others, or heck even sold some to feel a sense of normalcy. Yet, I've come to discover that I have been holding my heart together with scotch tape. The problem with this, however, is that eventually scotch tape looses its hold and the pieces fall apart again. So obviously, scotch tape or fixes will not help. So I have to allow the pieces to heal and mend with time. No quick fixes, just time and listening to The Holy Spirit. I invite you to take this journey with me. We will laugh and cry. Sometimes, I wont "sound like a preacher" but in the end, God wants my authenticity not my sound or presentation shown to others. God want ME flaws and all.....
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