Action: Minding The Business That Pays Me!!

You know, it wasn't until my last post that I was able to see the ebbs and flows of transition in my life.  I know, it seems strange but I did not see it as a series of processes. Just one looooong one.  However, in gaining some perspective, I'm realizing that even foreshadowing does not keep me from have to still myself of for the onset of change.  Especially when the change involves the repositioning of people in my life.  For me, I let so few people really close to me that my spirit feels the stretch of the separation instantly.  Here's the difference this time around, I'm so much more invested in myself.  

Yet, I cant be upset at the pulling away because it is happening for a reason.  Sometimes its to separate me from the drama of others and other times it's because I am too caught up in the lives of others that I allow myself to take a backseat in my own life. Honestly, being caught up in the drama of others is for the BIRDS.  I am content with the space that I am in.  I'm not longing to be linked in a romantic relationship namely because that whole side of my life is COMPLICATED.  I'm focused elsewhere.  I can truly say I'm not envious.  At 36, two months from 37, there is stuff in everyone's relationship. Therefore, the need to covet someone's facebook posts is not my MO.  

So, what does STILLing myself look like and feel like for me.  I picture it like being an actor who is trying to find the right movie fit.

1. UHH.... this is not my movie.  I dare not put myself in someone else's screenplay.  I did not audition for that role. So there is no need for me to be an extra getting paid little of nothing with little to no exposure. 

2. Be a bystander, unless some is dying, then do what you can and move back.   It is not my act, scene, nor movie.  I have to realize that this is not my stuff or my life and I don't get to make their decisions.  Even if I was invited. I am not getting paid for taking a staring role here.  I will always be a causality.  Nope! not this time.

3. Drop other people's bags.  Everyone has to do their own work.  I can't play valet to someone else's stuff, issues, insecurities.  I have my own bags I'm trying to make lighter.  If I'm carrying someone else's stuff,who will carry mine.

4. Be present in my own moments.  This will where my growth will come from, not from trying to fix other people's issues.  

 

Re-worked Mindset coming in 5,4,3,2..........1...